American Ninja (1985)

Without a doubt, this is the greatest movie ever made about American born ninjas (yes, even better than the 3 Ninjas quadrilogy!).

Michael Dudikoff (or as I like to pronounce - dudey-cough) plays loose cannon Joe Armstrong, an orphan raised as a ninja by Gandhi (or at least his lookalike).

Unfortunately the young Joe has an accident hence the obligatory 80's defining amnesia plot. Lost and out of control he does the only logical thing and signs up with America's finest - the army, god bless!

The rest of the film is a bit of a blur, I think he gets his pony stolen by some French drug baron which forces Joe to break a few rules and sneak around in his Ninja costume looking for clues, taking out the occasional Mexican in armed combat and uncovering some double crossing traitors within the army.

He has help along the way from his best buddy Curtis Jackson, a pumped up psyched out captain played by the awesome Steve James (R.I.P) - an actor who unfortunately never made it past 'hero sidekick' but certainly kicks some ass in this film (see below).



This film is probably better known for its many crappy sequels, non of which I've seen yet although I'm sure I will at some point.

Anyhoo, find below the trailer courtesy of YouTube - I tried to rip it direct from my dvd but for some reason it didn't work this time.

Enjoy!

The Devils Backbone (2001)

The Devils Backbone is a ghost story set during the Spanish Civil War.

Directed by Guillermo Del Toro this has some similarities to his recent and most successful film Pan's Labyrinth in the way it mixes fantasy with war torn Spain. Its a bit of a strange mix but works really well overall especially when its all spoken in Guillermo's native tongue.

The film's based at an orphanage where the ghost of a murdered child haunts the corridors and attaches itself to the newest orphan, Carlos. Carlos follows the ghost and eventually discovers how he was murdered after questioning the other children.

Meanwhile the janitor, a mid twenty-something who has lived at the orphanage since a child has ideas about stealing the orphanage's hidden gold supply for his own benefit.

Both stories come together for the explosive finale and some pretty gruesome stabbing scenes.



I really enjoyed the special effects in this film because they are so subtle. The ghost boy is really simplistic at first appearance but when you get to see his face close up you'll notice some great water effects. It wasn't until I saw one of the 'making of' features on the disc (only available on this region 1 special edition by the way!) that some of the scenes I thought were real were actually made using some really awesome animatronic puppetry.

I would recommend this to anyone that enjoyed Pan's Labyrinth. Guillermo is a really interesting director and one to definitely watch out for in the future.

Hard Hunted (1992)

This film was given to me as a Christmas prezzie, only because my pal Volare Dez found a pic of Al Leong whilst surfing Google images and wondered, "what the hell?".

What Dez saw was Al Leong in a really crappy looking helicopter, he traced where that came from and this film was the result.

Well, 'my oh my' what a find!

Apart from the superb Al Leong featuring in this film (yes... featuring, with lines and everything!) it also has a mix of Playboy models from the mid eighties dancing about the screen, half pretending to act whilst having a few obligatory topless scenes. The nude scenes don't really have any relevance to the story but are a pretty good distraction!

The story (this is all coming from memory) is something to do with a stolen trigger for a nuclear bomb landing in the hands of the wrong people and a team of busty chicks having to save the day somewhere in Hawaii whilst being pursued by Raven (Al Leong) and his crap homemade helicopter.



The team's guided by the strangest of DJ's, a top-heavy radio presenter who parades in front of the microphone wearing skimpy outfits, unaware that the listeners can't see her. She drops subtle (and not so subtle) clues for the team to follow over the airwaves. The thing I found amusing was when she wasn't in the radio booth presenting she would continue to communicate using the microphone to the people nearby, whether that's just walking by the pool or taking a dip in the hot tub. I wonder if she had a fancy removable voice box?

Anyway, the star of the show Donna (real name Dona Spier, left on the box cover) gets kidnapped during the film and taken aboard a small plane. There's a scuffle in the air and she breaks free, parachutes away and lands with a smack, head first on a rock giving her temporary amnesia.

Ah yes, where would crap B movie's be without the amnesia twist. If you're running out of ideas slap a nice little amnesia into the story, its a good little filler.

She recovers, stabs a guy and the team unites for an 'all mighty gun battle on the beach that puts the Normandy landing from Saving Private Ryan to shame' - na, just kidding! Its a small scale affair. Raven returns to finish everyone off but Donna brings him down with a lucky shot from the conveniently placed shotgun - BOOM!

The big boss (who doesn't really do much through the film, just sits on his yatch drinking champagne) narrowly escapes capture by the coastguards and threatens to return to seek his revenge. The end.

Awesome? Perhaps, perhaps not but its very entertaining if you watch it with a load of mates and have a few drinks. Apparently this is one film from a series by the same director (Andy Sidaris) so I may look into those for future viewings.