1: Be in the company of good friends
2: Enjoy many alcoholic beverages
3: Don't take what you're watching too seriously
I recently spent a couple of nights watching some god awful DVD's collected (voluntary and involuntary) over time, with my good friend Dez.
Here's some of the discs we watched, leaving out the 'good' ones.
Michael Winslow's Comedy Sound Slapdown (2002); Ever wanted to watch someone have a nervous breakdown live on stage? Now you can! Formally the sound effect wizard from the Police Academy movies, Winslow hasn't really progressed much doing many of his old impressions, most of which are really dated now. Apparently Winslow went to school with most of the wrestlers from WWF, Cheech & Chong, Jimi Hendrix, the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard and Darth Vader! The dvd sleeve states Winslow performs over 10,000 sound effects, an impressive feat if true considering the shows only 59 minutes long (thats one sound effect just under every 3 seconds). We lost interest after the first two impressions so can't really comment.
Hell Comes To Frogtown (1987); Sam Hell (played by wrestler 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper) is some sort of sex offender, captured by the government and sent into the mutant occupied Frogtown to free some captured babes, which he has to then impregnate to repopulate the world! How anyone ever decided, 'yes, that sounds like a good film idea. sign me up' is beyond me but it was surprisingly entertaining.
Attack Force (2006); Oh dear, poor Steven Seagal. Once upon a time he was Warner Brothers golden child making guaranteed hit films such as Under Siege and... er, Under Siege 2 but has fallen into the 'straight to dvd' category. Unfortunate for Seagal he's contractually obliged to make these awful films having signed a horrible Sony contract. Seagal would rather be performing with his blues band 'Thunderbox', something he feels passionate about. Anyway, back to the film. Now overweight and uninterested, Seagal spends the majority of his time in this film sitting down, talking in his best Don Corleone voice. Well, its Seagals voice for about 50% of his scenes, he's dubbed for the other half in a voice not even close to his own. When there is any action its usually involves the younger, eastern European cast of unknowns. The story seems to have been made up whilst they filmed it as I found it impossible to follow, can the alcohol be blamed for that? Apparently not according to this article found on the Ain't It Cool website. I feel sorry for the guy although we did have quite a laugh at Seagal's expense.
